GPS Review

I found this floating around. It’s a review of the Magellan Maestro 3100 I wrote after Uprising last summer, done in a period voice. Enjoy!

Throughout my travels, I had heard great and wondrous tales about how much easier it was to travel with the assistance of a navigator. Now, I was a bit dubious as to their usefulness travelling the King’s roads as I am familiar with the reading of maps and could usually get from one place to another without getting too lost, but I’d found a navigator by the name of Magellan who was willing to work cheap. So I hired him with my upcoming trip to Uprising in mind.

Now while this wasn’t my first trip to Uprising, I’d only traveled the road to its current site once without a driver and thought it would be good to have the reassurance of a navigator to guide my steps. We left Castelleone under clear and sunny skies, but by the time we approached the northern border of what was once Dun Braga, I could see storm clouds brewing on the horizon. For anyone who hasn’t traveled the King’s highway through region, the northern reaches of Dun Braga is a series of narrow, winding valleys that can be quite challenging in rough weather. Seeing the clouds and thinking not only of the roads ahead, but all of the gear sitting exposed to the elements in the back of my wagon, I decided on a detour that would skirt the eastern edge of Dun Braga before rejoining the King’s highway. Yes, the detour might have been five or ten miles longer, and the narrowness of the roads meant that I couldn’t travel quite as fast as on the King’s highway, but the roads were relatively straight and level – and not currently enjoying the attention of Thor.

So I turned off the King’s highway and almost immediately my navigator, Magellan, began telling me to turn around. And he continued to do so in his annoying sing-song voice every half-mile or so until we met up with another of the King’s highways that fed into Dun Braga from the east. Then his suggestion was to get on that highway and rejoin our original route at Dun Braga, some thirty miles away. And, like Magellan’s continual insistence that we turn around, I disregarded his advice. For I knew that if I used his route, it would be thirty miles over a winding mountain pass to Dun Braga and then another sixty miles to its southern edge, whereas if I continued on my current route, I’d reach that same southern edge in a mere seventy miles. So I continued on my detour and my navigator started up his petulant pleas to turn around once again.

We’d gotten to about halfway to Dun Braga’s southern edge before good Magellan finally decided to look at what was ahead instead of where we’d been and admitted that maybe, just perhaps, I knew what I was doing. By the time we rejoined the King’s highway, he had settled down and was even ready to admit that we’d lost a mere ten minutes in taking the detour.

All was good as we passed into the lands of One Thousand Eyes and left the King’s highway. But as we approached where my navigator said the road to Duke Alan’s lands were, I again had second thoughts about his veracity. As I said, while this was only my second time bringing my own wagon to these lands, I had ridden with others before and none of the landmarks I half remembered were present. So I pulled out the directions sent along with the invitation to visit the Duke’s lands and, sure enough, Magellan was telling me to turn far sooner than the Good Duke had recommended. We continued on, now following the written directions I had been given instead of my so far questionable navigator’s constant please to turn around or turn left and reached the Duke’s lands without incident.

Needless to say, I began my return trip leery of my discount navigator. But, while the Duke had been good enough to provide directions to his lands, he hadn’t provided the same from them and I was forced to rely on good, old Magellan’s advice. And, at first, his advice seemed sound enough until I realized that my navigator had me rejoining the King’s highway after passing through the heart of One Thousand Eyes instead of just cutting over the mile or so to rejoin it sooner.

And, I must admit that he figured things out much sooner this time, only giving me a pair of “turn around”s before realizing what I was up to and gave me no more trouble on the way home.