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Like many a fencer, I'm sure, I've had my little fantasies about what it would be like to get my White Scarf. I know I've said that I don't really care if I get it or not and I don't. I'm not in the SCA for the awards, but I have to admit it's kind of frustrating watching people who weren't even born when I started fencing pass me up. Then again, I also see a disadvantage to getting my scarf. Not for me, so much as for fencing in Northern Artemisia.
As it stands right now, I am seen as an authority figure without the taint of being "one of them." I've talked about the problem of perception in Northern Artemisia when it comes to White Scarves before, and whether its founded or not, it does exist. This could lead to a serious disconnect between the populace and the powers that be - a widening of the gulf that exists between North and South. And this is where I fit in - along with the other old-timers. We serve as a go-between for our Northern fencers. We've all been playing long enough that we're not intimidated by titles and public opinion really doesn't worry us. So we can speak up. We can rant and rave and raise all sorts of Cain and not worry about the fall-out. Having nothing to lose has its advantages, even if my poor friends have to come by every 6 months or so and tell me to shut up, or I'll never get a scarf. And a part of me worries that if I were to take the scarf, my fellow northern fencers would throw me into the "them" category, forcing me to lose my voice. I hope it wouldn't happen, but the fear is there.
Which is why, in about half of my White Scarf fantasies, I turn down the offered scarf. I'd like to think that I'd put the needs of the kingdom before my own desire for recognition, but truth be told, there's about as much chance of that as of Hrothgar passing up a buffet. After all, I have been in the SCA for 20 years and fencing for nearly that long and my total collection of awards is an Awards of Arms I received 12 years ago.
Not that I really expect the question to come up anytime soon. I'm pretty sure my big mouth will keep me safely ensconced in obscurity.
